Making the break...
When I did try to make a break, I left London and came to Huntingdon to stay with my mum in Oct 2011, I had made a decision that I wasn’t going to return, I told my ex this over the phone.
He then sent me a continuation of abusive messages, it lasted all day, I went to dinner with my mum, my 6mth old baby, my brother & his now wife, my ex continued with the abusive messages, he also tried the approach that I was taking his son away from him (he used this on a daily basis, making me feel guilty for something his ex did, but I understand why she did now) saying I was just like his 1st partner whom he had 2 other children with that he couldn’t see. My responses were that I would never not let a father see their child.
I had threatening texts through the day that made me nervous & on edge, my ex was very unpredictable. He said in one of the messages that he was coming up to Huntingdon with people and he was bringing all of the knifes from the kitchen, then he said he was going to burn down the house. I knew in my gut that he meant what he was saying, I told my family that we needed to go and we left the restaurant, my mum didn’t think he would turn up, I think she was trying to be reassuring to me as she could see how worked up I had got. The next few messages were him telling me where he was on the motorway and what he was going to do to me when he got here. Then he text to say he was outside and he wanted to talk, he then kept calling and I didn’t answer. He then got someone else to call me from the car, I didn’t recognise the number so I answered and it was his cousin, they were outside and he wanted me to talk to my ex. I obviously didn’t leave the house and I did hang up the phone. He came to the house and tried kicking down the door, he then through petrol all over the door. We called the police and they left, he was remanded in custody when the police arrested him.
He sent me letters to my cousin’s house, telling me he loved me but I had pushed him over the edge by taking his son etc etc……….. I dropped the charges and begged my family to do the same. I wasn’t well, I was still being controlled, I was still blaming myself for everything, we had been together for around 6yrs on/off at that point, that’s a long time to be controlled and not know your own mind. He was in prison for 11 months missing his child’s 1st Christmas & 1st Birthday, which I never heard the last of; it was after all, my entire fault he was in prison.
I didn’t get a call from The Domestic Violence People or Social Services that time; I believe that incident must have slipped through the net.
When he was released, he came and stayed with us sometimes for a week sometimes longer sometimes just for a few days, I had been rehoused in St Ives. He didn’t want to live near my family and made his opinion known.